Today’s letter for Blogging A to Z is K. K starts off lots of cool words (kefir, kinetic, Kindergarten, kerfluffle, kippers, Klingon), but I figured it kind of made sense to blog about Kristen. That’s me.
Here are 10 deep dark secrets about me that my About page doesn’t cover:
1. My current favorite candies are those miniature York Peppermint Patties that come in little “share-size” baggies. I don’t share them.
2. I tried to read every book in the adult section of my local library when I was 12, starting from Z. I gave up at Y. I really want to try this again. With a smaller library, though.
3. I’m afraid of these:
Twice, this innocuous-looking winged insects have flown up my pantleg and bit me on the leg. Twice.
4. I didn’t used to like kids. At all. Once, while babysitting, I was hit upside the back of the head with an aluminum baseball bat while changing a baby’s diaper. I wanted to belt the kid that did it, but he was only three, much faster than me, and I was seeing double.
5. I’ve always secretly wanted to be a Fifties housewife. I like to cook out of vintage cookbooks, wear cute aprons and pride myself on sticking to a ridiculously stupid-cheap food budget of $250/month that feeds four people. Three of them boys.
6. I’m eating hummus right now. With a spoon. It’s not my fault–I ran out of pretzels. I’m hoping my co-workers think it’s applesauce.
7. When I was five, I was bit on the face by a dog named Buckwheat. In his defense, he was never the same after that time the garage door pinned him by his head. They didn’t have automatic reverse garage doors back in 1985.
8. I can sleep anywhere. Once, I slept through a tornado, curled on a blanket under a desk. Another time, I slept in a bowling alley, stretched between two chairs.
9. I tried out for a play once in middle school. Spent three weeks memorizing a poem, was called up to audition first, promptly forgot the damned thing and burst into tears in front of about 100 other kids. I can remember every word of that poem to this day.
10. I used to drive my car without insurance all the time. Rollin’ dirty was the only illegal thing I’ve ever done. I’ve been responsibly insured for several years now, but I still sometimes miss the game.