Real Conversations Between Husbands and Wives #2

“All my favorite clothes are tapping out on me this year. The jeans with the little crotch holes had a blowout.”

“You need some indestructible pants. Like made of sail canvas with guitar-string-sewn seams. I could make you some.”

 

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The Revolt of Dorothy #FlashFiction

So, I wrote another flash fiction, this one 1,000 words. Also not romance.

It’s all Chuck Wendig‘s fault.

The Revolt of Dorothy

5:36 PM

Rubber-soled shoes squeaked outside of my room and I stuffed the knife under my pillow, flopping backward and letting my mouth hang open slightly. I focused on my breathing—in and out, slowly, carefully—as the door opened. From somewhere down the hall came a pitiable moan. There was a pause—in, out, slowly, carefully, breathe Dorothy—and then the hated reek reek reek of the rubber-soled shoes moved purposely toward my bed.

“Dorothy, dear. Open your eyes. It’s time for your medicine.”

The sweet sounding words came with a pinch to the sensitive skin on the inside of my upper arm, swift and vicious as a wasp sting.

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“You know what’s weird? I think the universe doesn’t want me to wear jeggings.”

Things husbands and wives really talk about. #ConversationswithZack  

Cracked House #FlashFiction

So, I haven’t been writing so much lately. I’ve gotten stuck on the edits for Peace, Love and Murder, and the creative gears in my brain have been all gunked up with work stuff and school stuff and stuff stuff, but I caught a Wendig post on Friday–a flash fiction challenge.

Sure. Like I’ve got time to write a short story, Chuck. I haven’t done that since high school.

Except, wait, I accepted the challenge and turned a pretty cool story out of it. (FYI, there’s a couple swears and some creepy stuff, if you’re not into that. This ain’t a romance, folks.)

Cracked House

The cold bit at Damon’s nose as soon as he opened the door, and he tugged his scarf up. The wool itched and smelled like peanut butter and cigarette smoke.

“Come on, Curtis.”

Damon jerked his little brother’s arm and Curtis yelped. “Tee, Damon hurt my arm!”

“Gone, now. Get to school.” The volume went up louder on the TV, and a racking cough echoed out from the living room. “You lettin’ the cold air in!”

Damon automatically steered Curtis around the loose board three steps down. He was a little shit, but that didn’t mean Damon wanted to see him trip down the rickety staircase of their second-story apartment.

The wind picked up as they trudged down the sidewalk, bringing with it a crumpled McDonald’s bag, a couple of dead leaves and a condom wrapper that gleefully cartwheeled past them.

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IM’ing with The Husband

Me: I’m just cheesing you.
Zack: I know, I’m just being a block head.
Hehe.
Cheese joke.
Me: HA, I get it. Havarti to understand at first.
Zack: You feta believe it.
Me: I see what you did Gruyere.
Zack: Okay, I think we’re Gouda here.
Me: Time to Swiss subjects?
Zack: Anything’s cheddar than this.
Me: Okay, that’ll brie the end of it then.
Zack: Yeah, it’s making me bleu.
Me: Munster be you don’t like puns.
Zack: I beg your Parmesan?
Me: There’s Stilton of other things to talk about, you know.
Me: Do you need me to goat to the store after work?
Zack: Asiago if you need me to.
Me: Lol, okay, i’m fresco out. You win.
Zack: Going to Limburger your way out huh?
Me: Farmer better things to do.
Zack: I love cheese.
Me: Me, too.

Woohoo!

I passed my first exam! *fist bump*

Oh, wait. You have no idea what I’m talking about. Did I forget to post anything for the past six months? Riiiighhht… sorry about that.

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Writing: A 10-Step Program

I made the list below the other day for a friend who is interested in becoming a writer. Sometimes it helps (even if you’re already neck-deep in the process) to see each step simplified–even if there are dozens of substeps hiding under each line item.

10 Steps to Getting Published Continue reading